Sept. 23, 2022

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads
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Big Time Fresh

Ricky joins me to talk about my strategies on how I help musicians and artists get out of the negative self-doubt and celebrate their progress.  

But for the two of us....Are we successful or are we just adequate at checking off the boxes on the to-do list that we think makes us successful? For both of us, it took our rock bottom experiences to realize that there may not be a definition or end game. For the ambitious or the serial lifestyle changers who don't see success in their life it might be time to think again.

Also we talk about how comedians are supposed to be offensive, why I am scared to do live streams and my story of the string of bad life choices that everyone supported at the time. And general banter that gets outta hand as per usual.

Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.680 --> 00:00:15.400 Hey, Um, got it, uh, you know, right, right, 2 00:00:15.480 --> 00:00:18.559 in an example of a good example, you know. Yeah, that 3 00:00:18.600 --> 00:00:22.920 works for you or something like that. Yeah, exactly, helpful. It's 4 00:00:23.199 --> 00:00:26.399 it's definitely, uh, it's definitely there. And when I want to get 5 00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:30.760 there eventually, I'm just scared, scared, scared of what. So right 6 00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:34.399 now they can people being rude. I'm not. I'm not. My skin 7 00:00:34.520 --> 00:00:37.280 is not thick enough yet. Mind it. So I'll read them. It's 8 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:41.719 fine, care I listen. I'm worse of a person than any human being. 9 00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:45.479 Okay, and that's at you know, I can, right, I 10 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:49.439 can boil your blood and half a second. Okay, yeah, you can. 11 00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:56.159 No, like even less than that in half the sentence if you say 12 00:00:56.799 --> 00:01:00.399 relax or grow up. I'm waiting for another one to pop up, but 13 00:01:00.439 --> 00:01:03.000 I don't. I haven't heard it yet and I don't know it right now. 14 00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:08.560 What was what was that last word? Do you want to be canceled? 15 00:01:10.480 --> 00:01:14.879 There you go. Um, well, you're lucky that it cut out. 16 00:01:15.560 --> 00:01:18.439 You're very lucky that it cut out. Why I was wrong with that 17 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:23.680 word. What? Where did you say? Oh my God, you've been 18 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:27.359 living in Florida too long, man, not too long. Literally, haven't 19 00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:34.480 said that word since high school and I appreciate you. You fired me up. 20 00:01:34.519 --> 00:01:40.239 You got it point proven. But that's so weird, like saying now 21 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:42.439 that I say that, it's like remember that when, like way back in 22 00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:47.879 the day, when like Jenko jeans? Remember those people? Oh yeah, 23 00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:51.840 like people would would say that to like I mean like Oh, you're a 24 00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:56.400 loser. Yeah, like that show wouldn't fly today. No, but you 25 00:01:56.439 --> 00:02:00.760 know what, I was listening to Green Day. What I was listening to 26 00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:06.120 Green Day, and it's one of us, shut up, man, Green 27 00:02:06.879 --> 00:02:15.719 Day. What what songs body? But yeah, it's I don't know, 28 00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:20.680 it's a little much, I think. What were they saying? Are you 29 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:23.960 saying that they said the F word, that you just said that F word? 30 00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:29.080 UH, yeah, I mean fucking sign of the time. I'm putting 31 00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:30.319 that out. I don't want to cut too much out today, but yeah, 32 00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:35.840 I know. No, yeah, you're right. And you know what 33 00:02:35.879 --> 00:02:39.919 I think it is? We tried so hard to learn how to be politically 34 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:44.680 correct back in between our generation. Wait, wait, let me finish, 35 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:49.560 between our generation and Gen z. That mess everything up, and now every 36 00:02:49.599 --> 00:02:54.439 person is so sensitive to anything like you say. If you say like Oh 37 00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:59.280 um, you know why did you say that about? I don't want to 38 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:01.840 get troubly. I know. Yeah, I know what you're saying, though, 39 00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:08.280 like Comedians, like fucking Comedians, the whole job is to take yeah, 40 00:03:09.159 --> 00:03:15.639 they draw the they're supposed to find the line. Professional comedian. I 41 00:03:15.639 --> 00:03:19.439 think it was Bill Burr, perfectly, oh man. Yeah, but hey, 42 00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:23.879 if you tell a joke and they joke does not offend, it doesn't 43 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:29.280 offend anybody in the audience. It's not a good joke. True. Yeah, 44 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:31.599 I mean, Damn, those bombs. Even I can't take. Some 45 00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:38.000 of them are like yeah, he says, he says one of uh, 46 00:03:38.120 --> 00:03:40.879 he says one about single MOMS. I love. That's my favorite one. 47 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:45.479 I know. I was like I was like cringing, but I actually was 48 00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:50.560 like he does funny, not tastefully, but like funny. You know, 49 00:03:50.599 --> 00:03:54.840 it's everything funny, but he's just do it for shock factors. Yeah, 50 00:03:55.639 --> 00:04:01.159 yeah, I don't know. Yeah, is so for it's such a weird 51 00:04:01.240 --> 00:04:06.159 like border that he's able to bosome. Yeah, you're right, that's what 52 00:04:06.199 --> 00:04:12.560 it is from Boston. Or if you know, you know, you know, 53 00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:17.639 you know. Well, okay, so let's go with folks at home. 54 00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:23.160 How you're doing? How I'm doing? I don't know. I can. 55 00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:26.319 I like this conversation. We're happy. Oh Yeah, you want to 56 00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:32.120 start. What's up? What's up everybody? Thanks for jointing. Now what's 57 00:04:32.199 --> 00:04:39.000 up everyone? This is Bellamars. I just interrupt ellamarsh, buddy streams this 58 00:04:39.079 --> 00:04:42.800 thing. Okay, now what I know? Well, we can do the 59 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:46.439 video next time, but I'm gonna have to like that was the other question 60 00:04:46.439 --> 00:04:49.279 I had for you was that. SHOULD WE DO VIDEO? You think something 61 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:55.879 eventually, soon or soon? Yeah, when I look, I gotta figure 62 00:04:55.879 --> 00:04:59.399 out how I want to look, like the letting and all that. You 63 00:04:59.439 --> 00:05:01.079 know all. You know what else we should do? We can do the 64 00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:04.279 live stream and I just will turn my comments off, like you're saying. 65 00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:11.680 I will turn mine off. You see them, I don't want to see 66 00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:15.800 them. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You can see I'll turn them 67 00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:18.480 off. No, I want to see your comments and, Um, I 68 00:05:18.519 --> 00:05:23.240 want to read them. Yes, but I'm saying I don't want to read 69 00:05:23.399 --> 00:05:27.920 or see them, but you will see all of it and then just just 70 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:30.560 throw in like just a fake one and be like, Oh, they say 71 00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:35.120 you're you're doing a really good job, great, like you're all going to 72 00:05:35.560 --> 00:05:39.439 crush on you and you know they're all going to be like, oh, 73 00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:45.879 she's a fucking she's, because they're not like Holi, we went to high 74 00:05:45.879 --> 00:05:48.480 school with. These are like, you know, kids. Probably, if 75 00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:51.439 that listens, I don't know. You have the stats. I don't. 76 00:05:51.519 --> 00:05:58.319 Oh my God, my they're my fag love, just getting att have a 77 00:05:58.319 --> 00:06:00.480 thing. Sure, go ranching. I'd be like, okay, if everybody 78 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:09.240 whoever watches, I'll send you a picture of Mike, only for free and 79 00:06:09.319 --> 00:06:15.079 by two friends. If I hit five hundred subs today, then and bucks 80 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:18.879 of Raffle free only fans, and we don't. We don't happen. Only 81 00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:21.879 time, you know. So Um, yeah, that's a great way to 82 00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:26.800 scan someone. So, anyways, that's a good idea. Who wants to 83 00:06:26.839 --> 00:06:31.279 see? Because if I hate subs, now everyone has crushing on like gaming 84 00:06:31.319 --> 00:06:38.040 girls and cool girls and like, Um uh. First of all, I 85 00:06:38.040 --> 00:06:41.480 don't know why animal is so popular. Never Watch it. Don't get it. 86 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:47.959 Um, but people like have with fucking oriental girls and man, I 87 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:53.399 did like I did a couple. I did a sailor moon, but like 88 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:57.240 half asked because I don't have it. I got it like an outfit Oh 89 00:06:57.279 --> 00:07:00.680 my God, I can't tell you how many, like whatever. And then 90 00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:08.160 socks, pictures anywhere, like what I wear, knee high socks, and 91 00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:12.000 like normal, like I'm definitely not like, Oh yeah, I'm sure, 92 00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:15.319 I'm sure, you have no idea what you're doing. I really don't think 93 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:19.800 well done, we want to buy me socks. Now I'm like, okay, 94 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:24.839 buy me socks and you get, you get an exclusive set of pictures. 95 00:07:25.720 --> 00:07:28.439 I'll I'm gonna text you after this. I need some new ones. 96 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:35.560 Okay. Well, you wear boxer briefs? Yeah, don't worry about it, 97 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:42.120 okay, and box of briefs, box of briefs. All right, 98 00:07:42.759 --> 00:07:47.720 what's up, everybody? This take three. WHAT'S UP, everybody? This 99 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:53.480 is Bella Mars and I'm here with Ricky Boreas, who continues to interrupt me, 100 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:58.399 but he um, he's here again. Say, what's up, unprofessional? 101 00:07:58.800 --> 00:08:03.160 What? Hi, everybody. Yeah, that was professional. I love 102 00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:07.639 myself. Um, what's up people out there? We're gonna. Hey, 103 00:08:07.720 --> 00:08:11.079 we could do that's a little lesson today, a lesson on life, love 104 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:16.160 and maybe something else. Well, Um, so, I don't Miss It. 105 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:22.519 No, take it away. So what we were talking about earlier? 106 00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:26.720 Well, we're talking about a couple of things. We're talking about comedians pushing 107 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:28.680 the line, but we kind of moved on from that. Then we're talking 108 00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:35.600 about how we should move forward to the next level of professionalism as it relates 109 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:41.919 to this podcast. When should we take it to a Vidka? No, 110 00:08:43.159 --> 00:08:48.759 livestream. No, taking video clips, and then I don't like seeing your 111 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:56.759 face like this. Taking video clips to promote the podcast. Now I can't 112 00:08:56.759 --> 00:08:58.919 hear. And then, uh, because right as it is, right now, 113 00:09:00.279 --> 00:09:03.080 if I wanted, we can post it on Youtube, but you need 114 00:09:03.080 --> 00:09:09.440 to tell me like a good level. Oh No, alright, the closest. 115 00:09:09.080 --> 00:09:13.639 Alright, talk normal. I'M gonna say. Wait, too far. 116 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:18.919 Yeah, now I hear like an echo. Okay, and then, all 117 00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:22.240 right, so I called Bella. No, you're good. You're good when 118 00:09:22.279 --> 00:09:31.159 you're okay, when you're all the way up my good here. Okay, 119 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:35.240 am I good here? Yes, what do I need? What do we 120 00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:41.360 need to add to expenses so I can write this off as an expense? 121 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:50.600 Okay, no, no, I mean the thing. Yeah, that's good. 122 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:54.759 Yeah, that's good. Oh, ship, you want to see me? 123 00:09:54.799 --> 00:10:01.360 Obviously, don't look. It's a big speaker right here. I talk 124 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:05.399 into this. That probably work if it's a speaker, though. It's not 125 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:09.039 a microphone, I think it. Yeah, I don't know if it is 126 00:10:09.080 --> 00:10:15.159 there, whether there be a microphone on a speaker as well. Yeah, 127 00:10:15.279 --> 00:10:18.480 but I'm not. I don't want all right, so okay, let me 128 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:22.120 think. Oh, maybe like a Bluetooth microphone. That's dope. That's what 129 00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:26.039 I meant to do right before, because I was like I meant I said, 130 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:33.279 Hey, give me to a fifteen to sorry folks at home about this 131 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:35.919 is a lesson in being prepared, all right, and this is we're just 132 00:10:35.320 --> 00:10:39.720 we're messing around. This is called an unpreparedness. Don't we look foolish? 133 00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:41.519 That's right. You don't want to look like this, you know. On 134 00:10:41.559 --> 00:10:46.120 that note, and I also wanted to mention that, I don't feel like 135 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:50.759 I'm very confident in myself. However, I do want to mention we are 136 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:54.320 still learning. This is like less we're still less than ten episodes. So 137 00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:58.840 thank you for your patients. For that, I can't tell. I think 138 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:03.480 are getting better and better. So I don't know what I think. I 139 00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:07.840 have them. Oh, no, I gave the adapter to my father. 140 00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:13.279 I think your father, man. I know I said that's so bad fun 141 00:11:13.399 --> 00:11:16.360 all you. Okay? So, yeah, so I'm not gonna be able 142 00:11:16.399 --> 00:11:20.840 to do that. So you guys gonna have to enjoy me in the in 143 00:11:20.879 --> 00:11:24.799 the raw form. You know what? What else will helped? Because every 144 00:11:24.840 --> 00:11:28.559 once in a while, like if I'm saying and then you want to say 145 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:31.080 something right away, because actually works out great. Um, it doesn't let 146 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:35.960 us talk over each other, like what, cuts off like that? Right. 147 00:11:35.159 --> 00:11:41.919 Yeah, so that gets perfect. So, AH, we'll get you 148 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:45.600 set up. What do you have a laptop? Do you have a laptop? 149 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:48.159 I mean, I have a deathtop over there. I could try, 150 00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:50.679 but I don't. Once again, I don't want everyone here in our ship. 151 00:11:52.440 --> 00:11:56.960 What? What? What? How is it different? Because the deathtop 152 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:03.200 isn't okay, so in your room. It's in the office and the office 153 00:12:03.320 --> 00:12:05.639 is closer. First of all, it's like all wooden in there, so 154 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:11.399 it's like wait, but it's great, Um, the bedroom. So I 155 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:18.279 don't rile the dogs up and ship. That would be yeah, Um, 156 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:20.840 but I don't care. I'll try, because I was gonna try it anyways, 157 00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:24.799 and then see if it's better. But that's probably when we do a 158 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:28.600 video, because that will probably Oh yeah, that'd be good. Yeah, 159 00:12:28.759 --> 00:12:35.000 because then you're my video is horrid. What is this landscape? Horizontal? 160 00:12:35.720 --> 00:12:41.279 You're portrait really get yours? Mine is because mine's on the computer with the 161 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:48.919 camp yeah, okay. So, so my new computer. You're like, 162 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:52.399 Oh, it must be nice. Yeah, I spent five dollars. It's 163 00:12:52.440 --> 00:12:58.480 not even like a big deal. Oh, I know. All Right, 164 00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:03.200 Um, so you got you go look at this. I'm so professional right 165 00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:07.440 now. Watch this. Wait, what the Hell's going on? It's the 166 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:13.120 honey. I shrunk the kids. Honey. Yeah, do you remember that 167 00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:16.879 movie from the nineties? Yeah, I love the movie. What are you 168 00:13:16.879 --> 00:13:20.480 talking about? What's the grass? The grass in the background? I don't 169 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:24.080 see any grass in the background. I don't either, but you had it 170 00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:28.320 about two minutes ago. Are you sure it's a plant? It just shows 171 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:35.159 up. I'm talking about the zoom background. Nothing happens, right, oh, 172 00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:39.080 it's just showing a filter. I'm an idiot. Okay, and just 173 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:43.639 the picture. As you know, what, today is not my day. 174 00:13:43.639 --> 00:13:48.759 I want to talk about that. Yeah, let's let's uh like Doctor S. 175 00:13:48.759 --> 00:13:52.519 Well, Um, I'm gonna shrink the kids. Or do you want 176 00:13:52.559 --> 00:13:54.559 it to be on the Golden Gate Bridge, or do you want me to 177 00:13:54.600 --> 00:13:58.600 be out and out of space. Let's do space. You got a baby, 178 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:05.120 all right, Um, I don't get out here. How do you 179 00:14:05.159 --> 00:14:09.399 hear? How do you go out? Oh, my God, in space. 180 00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:13.120 I don't know. Oh, there you are, you. You got 181 00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:22.000 a concert back from it in cooling men. So that's why I have the 182 00:14:22.039 --> 00:14:30.759 house alone again on Friday. Everyone's going on vacation without me. Why? 183 00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:35.720 Why didn't? Yeah, you know, you have you noticed the theme here 184 00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:41.879 in my family? Yeah, they love going on vacation without me. I'm 185 00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:43.639 not gonna like. I mean, that happens to me too, but I 186 00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:48.679 want to hear you. You're you, nothing at all. Just that is 187 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:54.559 exactly it. But that's weird. But what happened was my sisters. So 188 00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:58.120 my it's weird, because you tell me if this isn't weird. My Mom 189 00:14:58.120 --> 00:15:03.799 and dad's good friend and who lived in here. We're probably the richest people 190 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:09.919 in here, right, but there are great friends, good people. Um, 191 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:13.960 and then they recently sold their house and moved. They had a house 192 00:15:13.960 --> 00:15:18.840 in Colorado as well, so they live out there now. They have some 193 00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:22.440 businesses, you know, they have a bunch of businesses and property around here. 194 00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:28.360 So sometimes they're over here. ANYWAYS, they're up north. They see 195 00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:31.720 my sister a lot and brother in law a lot because they're up there in 196 00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:37.840 that area. Because another one of our friends in here down that where you 197 00:15:37.879 --> 00:15:43.519 are right now? Yeah, in the SCULF community, right, my parents, 198 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:46.840 my parents friends. So one of them sold in here, lives in 199 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:50.159 Colorado, the other one, but he traveled to Um, where my sisters 200 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:54.360 at, visited my sister because he he was in Maine and in the era 201 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:56.639 he dropped by my sisters and brother in law's house to say hi, right, 202 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:00.759 and then he invited them out, you know, one of those like 203 00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:06.639 half as rich people invites, like hey, come out to our place, 204 00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:11.519 about park city? Yeah, it's Utah, not Colorado, and it's like 205 00:16:11.799 --> 00:16:17.559 fucking crazy, I guess, but you know why. But so they said 206 00:16:17.639 --> 00:16:19.320 yes and they did it and they made plans to do it and then my 207 00:16:19.399 --> 00:16:23.759 mom and dad decided to go to they said Hey, mom and dad, 208 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:27.000 you should do this too. Like first of all my mom and dad were 209 00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:34.559 like kind of weird that you're making vacations plans with our friends Um, but 210 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:41.519 we're coming. I go, Oh, you guys are losers. I said, 211 00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:44.559 didn't this happen? Uh, four and a half weeks ago too, 212 00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:47.799 and I take care of everything. Yeah, it did. Didn't happen when 213 00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:52.000 my best friend's wedding. Yeah, you guys, fucking everyone. Good night. 214 00:16:52.919 --> 00:17:02.240 And do you at that corner? You know? I'm just like, 215 00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:06.279 at least they ask me. You know what it is. If you know 216 00:17:06.359 --> 00:17:08.480 him, dead broke, if you know, I have because if that's your 217 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:11.359 concern, if you have, I mean I don't know what else you can 218 00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:15.960 say. If I if you knew for a fact I had negative two million 219 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:18.119 dollars in my account, please ask me. Let me tell you. I 220 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.720 can't. You're not gonna go and invite yourself. You are polite enough to 221 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:30.240 invite. Ask for wait for the invitation and I ain't going to. Let's 222 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:34.680 get invite me. I'm not going. But they invited my sister first and 223 00:17:34.680 --> 00:17:38.640 then my parents. I can tell you exactly why. Why He'p please tell 224 00:17:38.680 --> 00:17:45.039 me, because you do not have a significant other. You have. Why 225 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:53.319 did they invite my Um, sister or brother in law at all? Sister 226 00:17:53.519 --> 00:17:59.359 and brother in law, they're a couple. whine. Why invite them at 227 00:17:59.400 --> 00:18:04.960 all? Because there are a couple? There's Are you? Do you have 228 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:10.359 a significant out of there to go on this trip. No, but there's 229 00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:14.000 like, okay, it happens to me all the time. That's why I'm 230 00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:18.880 saying that. The point is there's no special this is an imprompt to invite. 231 00:18:18.920 --> 00:18:22.359 It wasn't planned, it wasn't nothing. And then for them to say, 232 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:27.839 Mom and Dad, you should come, it's just very weird. Well, 233 00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:33.440 can I guarantee you if I did have a significant other, they wouldn't 234 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:36.720 ask me. has nothing to do with that. The fact is it's just 235 00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:41.279 sucking weird. My parents friends asked my hang out with my sister's younger than 236 00:18:41.319 --> 00:18:45.480 me. That's fucking weird, no matter how you put it. Okay, 237 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:49.440 well, I I agree it's weird, and them for the and then for 238 00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:56.000 them to ask my invite my parents to their own friend's house. Yeah, 239 00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:02.319 that's weird, but they don't work. Who you're parents and you work. 240 00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:07.359 So what's your point? My point is if they're going to invite people, 241 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:11.480 they're going to invite the people that have but they don't an entire like I 242 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:15.759 do have that fucking entire like. I have an entire month off, you 243 00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:19.160 know, or and you can take time off, and they know that I've 244 00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:25.200 worked for him he knows that. The point is it's not just niceolated incident. 245 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:29.680 It happens a lot, and that's where I'm saying it's because you don't 246 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:36.680 have a significant other. So it becomes like we're going as couples. Because 247 00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:41.079 it happens to me all the time. I can invite it anymore. The 248 00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:45.480 reason that I bring it up and say the fact that it's happened a lot 249 00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:49.279 before is because before I've had significant others, it still didn't happen. Have 250 00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:56.200 had whatever the funk you said and didn't happen. It's just weird, excuse 251 00:19:56.279 --> 00:20:00.400 you can. It's just weird and you grew. My parents said it's weird 252 00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:03.960 and then they go, yeah, we're coming. So, yeah, I'm 253 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:06.839 not complaining that. I have the house to myself. That's great. What 254 00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:10.519 I'm saying that's weird, like that's weird. Watch the F but yeah, 255 00:20:10.519 --> 00:20:14.160 how about this? Uh, they take all the families. They take my 256 00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:17.799 sister and her boyfriend, they take my brother and her boyfriend and they all 257 00:20:17.799 --> 00:20:21.680 go to Hawaii and they all go to San Francisco. They don't even ask 258 00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:26.039 me, and my brother worried, my dad and my Stepma. Yeah, 259 00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:30.000 well, these people are these are my actual family. They don't ask me 260 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:33.559 to come with him to Hawaii. Gives a FUNK, don't? You don't 261 00:20:33.559 --> 00:20:37.640 want to say on that plane, that's a long plane, right, but 262 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:41.680 it's a vacation that I wouldn't have to pay for anything. Tell me, 263 00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:45.799 give you the cash. Well, I guess we're on the same page. 264 00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:52.839 We have different solutions. I ain't even get in the cash either. No, 265 00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:56.759 whatever, whatever, we suck. Clearly that's what it is. No, 266 00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:59.839 not even I'm just saying it's just weird of them to do this. 267 00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:02.960 Uh said, don't you think? And then you start coming out with all 268 00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:06.359 fucking excuses. Why? I'm not but no, no, I'm not making 269 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:08.440 excuses. I'm trying to help you put it in perspective. But no, 270 00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:11.799 I get I get it, but isn't it weird? And you don't know 271 00:21:11.880 --> 00:21:17.559 these people either. So it's like it's a flex. And then it's a 272 00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:19.519 flex for my sister and her husband. Okay, here's what it is. 273 00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:22.319 It's flex for them to offer, flex for them to say, yeah, 274 00:21:22.440 --> 00:21:26.440 we accept the offer and we're gonna pay for the fly out there, to 275 00:21:26.519 --> 00:21:30.200 fucking say it, and the rent. And it's a flex for my parents 276 00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:33.880 to say, yeah, we can keep up with that too, even though 277 00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:41.799 safe from nineteen seventy fucking four and inflation is fucking sense, and we're gonna 278 00:21:41.839 --> 00:21:45.680 pay with with two thousand and twenty two prices, with nineteen seventy four money. 279 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:48.920 Get it fucking straight, like these people don't know shit about money. 280 00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:53.640 anyways. Go on, can you please? Just we're both working on this, 281 00:21:53.799 --> 00:21:59.799 but just with the effort. I'll let it out to the major ones. 282 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.880 If it's it's gratuitous, or I'll edit the gratuitous one. You know. 283 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:11.839 The other thing that I think is that it's good. Yeah, it's 284 00:22:11.880 --> 00:22:15.119 good. It's good we're getting these out. I think it also takes shorter 285 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:19.920 and shorter time to edit this stuff. But Um, yeah, it's like, 286 00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:26.920 okay, I guess I'll be a second class citizen because I'm doubly being 287 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:30.920 punished. I don't have a significant donor, so I can't because they started 288 00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:34.839 inviting me again because I have a child and they want to have oh it 289 00:22:34.880 --> 00:22:40.880 would be great experience for her. I'm like what, what the but what 290 00:22:41.000 --> 00:22:48.519 I just realized right now is how we are complaining about something so like elitist 291 00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:55.880 that I feel guilty at this moment I don't get to go. I'm not 292 00:22:55.960 --> 00:23:00.880 complaining about that. I'm not complaining about a vacation. I'm complaining about the 293 00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:07.200 principle behind this. Isn't it weird? Not even a complaint. Isn't it 294 00:23:07.319 --> 00:23:12.240 weird? It's very weird. Yes, and it's not like, oh, 295 00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:18.920 big conspiracy weird. So isn't it weird? That's weird. Yeah, and 296 00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:22.160 then the fact that it's happened before for numerous but that's what I what threw 297 00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:25.160 me off. Yeah, but it's all for numerous different reasons. But and 298 00:23:25.240 --> 00:23:26.680 I don't care, I'm not do it. But the point is, I 299 00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:33.400 got the place myself's apart. You can invite no buddy. I have no 300 00:23:33.480 --> 00:23:37.079 friends. I don't have friends either. Hey, you know what? You 301 00:23:37.119 --> 00:23:41.119 know how hard it is to make friends after a certain age, because then 302 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:48.039 it's like, uh, why, it's easy ever log yeah, you have 303 00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:52.359 a lot of friends after you just said you have no friends. Got It. 304 00:23:52.920 --> 00:23:56.319 I don't want them. Trust me. You've seen what it's out there. 305 00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:03.440 It's a night there, like what's that Zombie, Zombie show? UH, 306 00:24:03.559 --> 00:24:08.160 walking dead. What it's like out there? Bunch zombies trying to just 307 00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:14.240 stuck the life out of here. brainless, brainless people walking around your friend. 308 00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:18.640 Oh, what a tough place to be. People want to be your 309 00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:21.799 friend. Yeah, I don't. Do you want me friends? ZOMBIES? 310 00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:25.960 No, I already have a plan for zombies, and I've been trying to 311 00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:30.359 discuss this for a while now. But we you don't are you're not into 312 00:24:30.359 --> 00:24:33.440 the Zombie culture and already already here. That's why you don't understand. No, 313 00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:37.000 that's what I do understand, and that's why I have a plan in 314 00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:40.279 place. No, the zombies are are us. You don't know this. 315 00:24:40.440 --> 00:24:45.319 Look, everybody. Go outside, look around. Everybody's looking where, down 316 00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:48.799 on their phone, not even in front of them. Looks like Zombie land 317 00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:55.839 out there. That's the way. Are Eating each other for sustenance or whatever. 318 00:24:55.880 --> 00:24:57.759 How that word does a matter of time. It can't all happen at 319 00:24:57.759 --> 00:25:02.440 once. Fell you know that iphone didn't come as the first cell phone, 320 00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:04.519 but now we're all looking down at the phone, not even the computer. 321 00:25:04.759 --> 00:25:11.160 If the Wifi, and this is what it's just Wifi, goes, we're 322 00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:17.640 that this whole system, the whole world, is done. If WIFI seasons 323 00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:22.160 to exist, that's what the if somebody wants to attack our country. That's 324 00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:27.640 what they should do off the Wifi. That's why cyber security is a great 325 00:25:27.640 --> 00:25:34.160 field to be in. The probably get paid. Yeah, you pretty much 326 00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:41.599 set your own price. Thankfully it's they do have sanctions against cyber security and 327 00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:48.359 BIOS fucking yeah, warfare, but still not that anyone's gonna follow. That 328 00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:56.200 doesn't matter. You can it. Oh, sanctions, okay, I'm gonna 329 00:25:56.359 --> 00:26:02.519 do whatever I want. Still clearly. Well, I mean, you can't 330 00:26:02.599 --> 00:26:04.160 drop a mustard gas bomb get away with it. Let's put it down. 331 00:26:04.200 --> 00:26:07.279 Yeah, I mean, yeah, and that's why it's so hard and so 332 00:26:07.359 --> 00:26:11.519 much harder. But then, okay, so what would happen? But this 333 00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:17.480 is me really I don't know. If you drop a bomb, mustard bomb 334 00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:22.279 or whatever, and you get sanctioned, what happens to thet if somebody drops 335 00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:26.119 a mustard gas bomb or a luke or something like against that, nobody's getting 336 00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:32.000 sanctioned. It's World War three. Okay, so it's like retality, like 337 00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:37.240 everyone's final either panic or retaliation. Nobody's gonna sit there and say, Oh, 338 00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:41.359 I'm in trouble. Yeah, I less all this plays out. Let's 339 00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:47.119 call let's call him up for sent you think they're gonna answer that's floating that 340 00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:52.920 nuclear rocket and aiming. At that point it's like whoever's first? Yeah, 341 00:26:53.240 --> 00:26:57.039 no, but you're right. I think cyber stuff is the most scary. 342 00:26:57.720 --> 00:27:00.680 Saw a movie about it recently. I forget what it was, but cyber 343 00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:07.480 and then like if people can start like screwing with DNA and like make people 344 00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:15.960 that scaring, that's a scary thing. Ai, like I robot. That's 345 00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:21.720 a that could absolutely happen right now. And who knows that? Who knows 346 00:27:21.759 --> 00:27:26.359 it is? I mean like the Boston Dynamics, is it that have those 347 00:27:26.920 --> 00:27:33.680 crazy military dog looking yeah, but so me and my dad were talking about 348 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:37.000 this the other day and and uh, he listens to NPR, but that 349 00:27:37.079 --> 00:27:40.559 was like one of the coolest things we were listening to at the same time 350 00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:44.599 and that's what they're saying. But then I was my dad's an engineer, 351 00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:48.880 so I'm like, well, can that actually happen? And he's like yes, 352 00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:52.640 but in order for it to be a reality, they would have to 353 00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:59.200 be like a panel of ethics or like a like a whole company that there 354 00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:04.119 would be able to have these stop buttons to like shut everything down. But 355 00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:08.359 who the hell knows what that's gonna look like, especially now, looking what 356 00:28:08.440 --> 00:28:11.200 the government looks like now. Is He's like, Oh, yeah, I'm 357 00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:17.079 cool, I'm fine, just kidding. All these robots are going to do 358 00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:21.039 all this stuff and I don't care. But I do think that could happen 359 00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:25.200 the I robot. I mean we're there now, youn't her father's right, 360 00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:27.400 like yeah, it's obviously gonna have just like a dirt bike as a kill 361 00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:32.559 switch of cars you break. Everything isn't going to have to have a security 362 00:28:32.839 --> 00:28:34.480 place and measure. But Hey, are you going to use it when times 363 00:28:34.519 --> 00:28:37.880 coming? Are you're gonna be near it when the Times come? Are you 364 00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:40.839 gonna be able to whos? Are you gonna want to, or are you 365 00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:44.519 gonna use it from Alice? Are you going paid to not to, not 366 00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:47.880 do it? Exactly? I think I go to feedes rate into this statement 367 00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:51.839 is I think until people stop acting on it self, interests in the world 368 00:28:51.880 --> 00:28:59.480 will not get better. And Yeah, there's yeah, because what's in other 369 00:28:59.559 --> 00:29:03.000 people's yeah, other people's lives, and that's if you give it, if 370 00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:07.400 you care. Otherwise, if you just want to win and get ahead and 371 00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:10.839 screw everything else, you know. Yeah, I mean that was the whole 372 00:29:11.400 --> 00:29:14.039 last couple of years and I'm not going to get into it because that's just 373 00:29:14.519 --> 00:29:18.400 that fairs me up. It's like, why didn't everybody come out with this 374 00:29:18.519 --> 00:29:22.759 information three years ago? But whatever, it's fake news. You know that. 375 00:29:26.200 --> 00:29:30.160 Um, yeah, fucking it's so weird. It's so weird. Okay, 376 00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:33.400 so what I want to say? It was like, yeah, like, 377 00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:37.359 so, personally, like thinking of all that ship puts me in a 378 00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:41.680 fucket. It puts me in as not depressed state, but like and not 379 00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:48.799 hopeless, but just not angry, not despair, but almost like half of 380 00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:53.119 those all rolled into one. You know. Yeah, I'm just frustrated that. 381 00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:56.680 Like it's like when is this going to get better? When's People's Moral 382 00:29:56.880 --> 00:30:02.720 Hump is gonna Reset? Yeah, the right direction and everyone's gonna you know, 383 00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:06.480 and these are such blanket statements that I get frostered and I get down 384 00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:12.640 and I get is that discouraged? It's all all of it. If I'm 385 00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:17.519 discouraged at it, there's a reason I'm discouraged and that reason probably makes me 386 00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:21.960 mad, you know, and right now it's like the self serving of people, 387 00:30:22.079 --> 00:30:26.319 you know. And so, anyways, when you get down or if 388 00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:27.960 I get down or if I get off track and stuff like that. So 389 00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:33.240 you're you have the music business, where you tell artists what to do, 390 00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:37.200 you know, and try to help them, um, market right and and 391 00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:41.119 and all that stuff. What. So if they get in a Rut, 392 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:45.279 what do you tell them? Folks at home, a couple of a couple 393 00:30:45.319 --> 00:30:48.519 of things that have worked and a couple of things that have not worked. 394 00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:56.519 I walked through exactly where they started, what their thoughts were at that point 395 00:30:56.519 --> 00:31:00.839 where they thought they would be. Did they believe in themselves? Did they 396 00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:07.160 think it was impossible? And then I kind of go over with them what 397 00:31:07.319 --> 00:31:12.079 they've accomplished, but not just what they've accomplished, what hard work it took 398 00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:18.319 to get to that next point. And then I remind them also then this 399 00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:22.480 is like over a couple of days, I remind them every single reason why 400 00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:26.680 they told me that they wanted to be there, and then I connect that 401 00:31:26.799 --> 00:31:32.759 with, you know, how their life has changed to get to the endgame. 402 00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:34.960 So, for example, Um, Oh, I'm gonna be famous, 403 00:31:36.279 --> 00:31:37.680 is usually where it starts. Oh, I want to make money, and 404 00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:41.160 then when you start to get into it, you see things like, oh, 405 00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:44.720 I don't want to be associated with this. I don't want to be 406 00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:48.079 associated with that. I kind of want to do it based on like leaving 407 00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:53.160 a legacy for my family and doing it to sustain a career where I can 408 00:31:55.119 --> 00:31:59.119 uh, you know, just live off music, not be famous and being 409 00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:02.160 asshole all the time. So it's it's more or less, you know, 410 00:32:02.279 --> 00:32:10.519 connecting their new goals with how they're old goals have progressed over time, and 411 00:32:10.559 --> 00:32:16.920 it helps, because most people don't realize how far they've come because they're so 412 00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:23.960 focused on tomorrow. When and it sucks looking at yesterday because it feels like, 413 00:32:24.359 --> 00:32:30.519 you know, yesterday was was was like where you started. So it's 414 00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:32.119 like you shouldn't look at where you started because you only want to look to 415 00:32:32.160 --> 00:32:36.519 the future, like everyone's told like, Oh, eyes on the future, 416 00:32:36.599 --> 00:32:43.200 don't think about you could have done yet exactly. But you know, you 417 00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:50.200 need to look at it, but look at it from the point where like 418 00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:53.160 what the fun? Yeah, it's huge. It's like it's always a big 419 00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:57.920 deal. Like do you take a big picture perspective for them? That usually 420 00:32:57.920 --> 00:33:00.880 helps, usually because that's a good that's a good advice. I think. 421 00:33:00.279 --> 00:33:07.240 Yeah, a big picture and then like milestones, they might be small. 422 00:33:07.319 --> 00:33:10.119 They might seem small, but then I talked about everything they did to get 423 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:15.799 there, you know, and one leads to another, even if it's tiny. 424 00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:17.279 That's why they say the first thing you should do is make your bed 425 00:33:17.319 --> 00:33:22.119 in the morning. You know, it's one task to get you and I 426 00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:27.839 do that and it like it may, it makes the day seem possible. 427 00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:30.799 At least it kicks it off in the current right direction. You completed the 428 00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:34.279 task. You're up one. But yeah, I think a lot of people, 429 00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:38.400 myself included, not even related to music, don't take a step back 430 00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:40.880 in the big pay like, for example, like and look at the big 431 00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:45.759 picture and compare how much progress you need. So that's a good that's a 432 00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:50.599 good way of doing that. UH, because even with my back recovery year, 433 00:33:50.799 --> 00:33:52.599 a year and two months ago, I couldn't walk at all. Now 434 00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:57.799 I can. I can walk, even though in pain every day and complaining. 435 00:33:58.079 --> 00:34:01.279 At least I'm not in a wheelchair. You know exactly. And I 436 00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:05.640 used to do. I used to do, but I now stay away from 437 00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:08.920 it. Could be worse, because it could always be worse for anybody. 438 00:34:09.039 --> 00:34:15.920 So that's not a motivation, you know. That's that's like saying relaxed at 439 00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:17.800 this point. Yeah, it's like it's not a big deal. It is 440 00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:21.599 a big deal if it is a big deal for that person. You know, 441 00:34:21.639 --> 00:34:23.440 I don't want to play all the things that you pet peeve. I'm 442 00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:30.599 going to write because you're an asshole in your mind. On my tombstone, 443 00:34:31.960 --> 00:34:37.239 I'm making a list up until now. But think about, think about what 444 00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:43.960 we we talked about in the last episode with Um, with your recovery from 445 00:34:44.039 --> 00:34:47.679 everything. People don't. That doesn't happen. People don't do that all the 446 00:34:47.719 --> 00:34:58.119 time. Most I don't know. I mean if anything in life, whatever 447 00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:05.079 happens. I feel like that's that is an accomplishment that regular any person, 448 00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:07.039 can't do. You know, I think. Okay, let me ask you 449 00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:13.480 this question, because of thinking is okay. Do you think it is? 450 00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:16.360 Do you think it works like this? Okay, I've accomplished that so far. 451 00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:19.880 You know, kicking that, that's hard to tell. You know, 452 00:35:20.039 --> 00:35:23.519 I'm I'm within the three percent that I've kicked it and then the point zero, 453 00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:27.679 zero five that have kept with kicking it right. Yeah, it's so 454 00:35:27.719 --> 00:35:30.079 bad, but but thankful. Yeah, okay, we'll pass that. But 455 00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:37.079 been a professional weake boarder, which is you know, very weird to do, 456 00:35:37.199 --> 00:35:39.480 but it's not a common thing. So do you think like somebody's, 457 00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:45.559 I don't know, so called, quote unquote, success could be behind them 458 00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:51.280 at that point, or do you think it's just up to work? I 459 00:35:51.320 --> 00:36:00.159 think successes is uh, is, undefined and UH UH and in it. 460 00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:04.639 Yeah, so it's about putting in the work. It's not like everyone has 461 00:36:04.679 --> 00:36:07.320 a certain amount of like, oh, that was your shot, you blew 462 00:36:07.320 --> 00:36:08.679 it, because I think a lot of people want to get out of that 463 00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:14.360 mindset. Oh my God, yeah, my success defined when I was twenty. 464 00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:22.079 My success was marriage, graduation, master's degree, child make over, 465 00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:25.920 fifty grand before the age of thirty. That was killed it. I killed 466 00:36:25.960 --> 00:36:30.119 it, but now I look back, I see that as yeah, I 467 00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:35.840 kind of see that as okay, I did that, but that is not 468 00:36:36.199 --> 00:36:42.719 it did not. It did not from then on, right what, you're 469 00:36:42.719 --> 00:36:45.159 just gonna make a goal from the like. Once you reach your goal, 470 00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:46.400 you're gonna make a new one and then if you don't, then, yeah, 471 00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:50.639 things get depressing. It was a goal, but then it ended up, 472 00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:54.800 in my mind, being a terrible way to spend my life, thinking 473 00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:59.599 that that's the end goal and even looking back now, and I told her 474 00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:01.639 to, might add, and my dad's really good, because I was like 475 00:37:01.800 --> 00:37:07.320 man, I really wasted like the best thing I got out of it, 476 00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.920 and you know it's amazing, of course, is my daughter. But I 477 00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.920 have been struggling, especially now that I had I lost my job for a 478 00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:17.719 year. I'm struggling with the fact that, wow, those ten years that 479 00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:22.280 I was focusing so much on those things, I wasn't thinking about anything else. 480 00:37:22.559 --> 00:37:24.880 Is this good for me? Is this good for me? I don't 481 00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:29.760 know. That's all. I focused on the end goal and that was not. 482 00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:35.880 Now, looking back, that was that is not a definition of success 483 00:37:36.199 --> 00:37:42.639 at all. For other people it is. And but what's working like a 484 00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:46.119 means to an end. Yeah, like I thought that was the ultimate happiness. 485 00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:49.960 I was like, I fucking did it. I'm fifth, I am 486 00:37:49.960 --> 00:37:53.599 thirty, I did it all off boxes at that point. Yeah, it 487 00:37:53.639 --> 00:37:58.239 was checking off boxes, but I that was what you know, that's what 488 00:37:58.280 --> 00:38:05.400 I thought success was, checking off boxes. But yeah, but it makes 489 00:38:05.440 --> 00:38:09.239 me feel better for not having any of those things. Yeah, I mean, 490 00:38:09.320 --> 00:38:13.800 and that's the other thing, like I honestly think I should have put 491 00:38:13.880 --> 00:38:15.320 way more. I got, like I said, I got married at twenty 492 00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:20.920 three. I mean that to me, all right, looking back after one 493 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:27.000 year of dating, like, okay, like that's the kind of decisions that 494 00:38:27.079 --> 00:38:31.079 I was like success. Yeah, that face is exactly what I'm talking to 495 00:38:31.079 --> 00:38:37.000 you. You're married to a pretty persuasive human being. Okay. So here's 496 00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:45.400 another thing I realized through my ten fifteen years of therapy is that is that 497 00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:52.519 it's for me. It was the challenge of, um, fighting off other 498 00:38:52.039 --> 00:39:00.079 females to be the ultimate uh, you know, the box of success has 499 00:39:00.119 --> 00:39:05.920 been checked off because, you know, as you can remember, maybe there 500 00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:12.800 was a couple. There's people here and there that I literally Um, okay, 501 00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:16.000 this you know this girl. I'm going to change her name. Um, 502 00:39:16.039 --> 00:39:22.719 it was during Halloween when UH and just put us out. That's true. 503 00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:24.400 Well, her name is Lauren. Actually doesn't matter. It's not like 504 00:39:24.440 --> 00:39:30.320 she'll ever hear this. Uh. It was at the same time where it 505 00:39:30.400 --> 00:39:36.679 was like around the same time we met Lauren and and he went to the 506 00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:40.280 Halloween Party together, the University Halloween Party together, and I went with my 507 00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:47.360 friends and we came back and, Um, we came home first and I 508 00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:53.320 was watching out the door to see if they were going to come back and 509 00:39:53.599 --> 00:39:58.320 I saw them come back or I didn't see the come back. It was 510 00:39:58.360 --> 00:40:01.159 taking too long. I knocked on the door and either you or brad answered, 511 00:40:01.800 --> 00:40:05.840 and I've been over so many times at that point that it wasn't you 512 00:40:05.840 --> 00:40:08.119 know, it was normal. And I was like Hey, can I wait 513 00:40:08.159 --> 00:40:10.400 and you know in the room. IS HE gonna be home soon? They're 514 00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:15.000 like yeah, sure, and so when I get when they come back, 515 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:22.599 um, her stuff was in his room and she had been drinking and he 516 00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:23.840 was like, oh no, she's just, you know, just she was 517 00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:28.719 just gonna stay here because of how much she's been drinking, and I was 518 00:40:28.719 --> 00:40:30.639 sitting on the bed and I was like, well, I'm not moving. 519 00:40:30.679 --> 00:40:34.760 So if she wants to stay here, she can. She can go on 520 00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:37.719 the couch, but I'm gonna be staying here, right on this bed. 521 00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:42.000 So y'all make this decision, but I'm not going anywhere. Wait, wait, 522 00:40:42.079 --> 00:40:51.559 so Laura, L M HMM, for L els stuff was on Jay's 523 00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:57.800 floor. Yeah, and he said, was he in the room? Yeah, 524 00:40:58.199 --> 00:41:00.599 and she was in the room. Yeah. Why were you looking out 525 00:41:00.760 --> 00:41:05.360 the wind the door? Because I was it was taking too long. I 526 00:41:05.400 --> 00:41:07.039 was waiting for them to come back. It was taking too long. So 527 00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:10.400 that's when I knocked on your guys door and I was like hey, can 528 00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:15.360 I say so? I just went his room, sat on and when they 529 00:41:15.400 --> 00:41:17.480 came back, she ended up going home. Oh, they weren't there yet. 530 00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:21.039 They weren't there yet. They weren't there yet, but I waited until 531 00:41:21.079 --> 00:41:23.960 they came home. I thought you walked in on them. Oh No, 532 00:41:25.119 --> 00:41:31.800 wow, did you know there hooked up? Nope, I don't know for 533 00:41:31.880 --> 00:41:37.800 sure, but what's your hunch? Well, actually, my roommates told me 534 00:41:37.880 --> 00:41:43.960 that that they were making out at that party, which this was. This 535 00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:51.599 was a university swansord party at one of those like whack not clubs in the 536 00:41:51.639 --> 00:41:55.599 area. I got kicked out because I I stole. I stole the beer 537 00:41:55.760 --> 00:42:00.360 from the the tubs that they had, like the ice tubs. I kicked 538 00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:06.199 out for putting our wristband on and it wasn't I wasn't twenty one. I 539 00:42:06.199 --> 00:42:07.760 think it was the same one. Yeah, I got kicked because I wasn't 540 00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:14.480 twenty one either. I got kicked out because I was too drunk. Yeah, 541 00:42:15.159 --> 00:42:17.199 they're like you gotta go, you gotta go, and we that's why 542 00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:22.000 it was early, because we got kicked out early. Yeah, yeah, 543 00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:24.519 that guy picked me up and three, he hated me because I taped the 544 00:42:24.559 --> 00:42:29.559 wristband, J ripped off the wristband off of him and gave it to when 545 00:42:29.559 --> 00:42:34.480 he left any any or he got another one and I put the ends together 546 00:42:34.599 --> 00:42:37.199 with candle wax. I was sitting at the table with the yeah, and 547 00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:42.079 I got the candle wax trying to put it together on such it works, 548 00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:45.960 so we could buy what? So we can buy it. Three dollar are 549 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:52.079 pouring the shots down my mouth. What's that called? Uh, I forget 550 00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:57.800 what it's called. Old, yeah, yeah, when, yeah, and 551 00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:00.800 then you're like it's like this whole thing. Yeah, but yeah, she 552 00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:04.360 was like half naked porn on my throat. That's when I got caught. 553 00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.679 But I got a good sex with them and I was happy I got so 554 00:43:09.119 --> 00:43:12.480 I was so waste so that I thought, Oh, I was so slick. 555 00:43:12.559 --> 00:43:15.320 Nobody saw me tank a beer from from the ice thing and then like 556 00:43:15.440 --> 00:43:21.280 five minutes later they're like, wait, was that downtown Fort Myers? Was 557 00:43:21.320 --> 00:43:27.000 that place? It's the I think. Actually, you know the place. 558 00:43:27.840 --> 00:43:30.719 No, it wasn't the beach, it was the downtown one. They eventually 559 00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:35.760 had shootings there. Um Downtown, downtown, downtown, downtown, downtown. 560 00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:39.039 I can't remember four Myers, barely. Yeah, the beach one was a 561 00:43:39.079 --> 00:43:44.840 whole different. But yeah, so I was like a little and then I 562 00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:51.719 was dressed like a wall. Yeah, yes, and what's her face was? 563 00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:58.360 As a pirate? I forget what I was. Probably some hookers looking 564 00:43:59.280 --> 00:44:05.639 whatever. That's everybody in college. Uh. But yeah, I know for 565 00:44:05.800 --> 00:44:08.199 things exactly like this. I haven't been thrown out at the club. They 566 00:44:08.280 --> 00:44:15.440 think, how old are you? Forty? F No, we should do 567 00:44:15.599 --> 00:44:22.119 we should do an episode where we should go to the club. Alright, 568 00:44:22.519 --> 00:44:25.199 one of us, because both of us trying to talk over and the club 569 00:44:25.239 --> 00:44:30.480 would be so annoying. Talking to the clubs impossible. One person goes and 570 00:44:30.639 --> 00:44:36.440 just like yeah, talking about together. We're feeling young. I don't care 571 00:44:36.679 --> 00:44:39.239 if it's documented or not. I need to feel young, all right, 572 00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:43.039 and that I would probably need to go there. I will make it to 573 00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:47.000 Florida. Uh, so we could do alive. You come in here. 574 00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:52.039 Would just be all sorts of drama. And Steph is in Florida now. 575 00:44:52.119 --> 00:44:55.039 So I had more than one reason to cool there on the other close, 576 00:44:55.159 --> 00:45:02.239 but did um, yeah, I know that's nothing now did. I'm trying 577 00:45:02.239 --> 00:45:08.719 to think. I don't know. I feel like an asshole sometimes because I'm 578 00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:13.480 not, as I am not a very good friend, of keeping up with 579 00:45:13.519 --> 00:45:17.119 people and, you know, making it a priority, like staff, especially, 580 00:45:17.679 --> 00:45:22.119 yeah, for the people that matter that I actually, yeah, you 581 00:45:22.199 --> 00:45:25.159 know, care about, which is like five people, because at the rest 582 00:45:25.199 --> 00:45:29.239 of the time I feel like, okay, well, I could be slaving 583 00:45:29.239 --> 00:45:34.000 money by not going out, saving time by doing things I want to do, 584 00:45:34.440 --> 00:45:37.639 because on my free time, without when I don't have, you know, 585 00:45:37.679 --> 00:45:43.559 my child for that weekend, that is like the best forty eight hours 586 00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:46.280 of the month. I could sleep in, I could, you know, 587 00:45:46.599 --> 00:45:52.039 eat popcorn for dinner, like, I can watch stranger things really loud up 588 00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:57.880 until so I that's what I like to do on those dates. So if, 589 00:45:58.559 --> 00:46:04.119 if people, unless you're extremely worth the time, which of course that 590 00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:08.000 would you would be, then I'm not going to find I'm not doing anything. 591 00:46:09.280 --> 00:46:13.000 First of all, let me say thank you. I appreciate that. 592 00:46:13.039 --> 00:46:15.400 I'm worth the time, and so are you. Yeah, I know. 593 00:46:15.679 --> 00:46:19.960 No, yeah, I think my free time is precious and I have plenty 594 00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:22.719 of it. I can imagine yours, you know. Yeah, I'm like, 595 00:46:22.760 --> 00:46:25.159 I get it. At Six am and I don't even have to normally. 596 00:46:25.760 --> 00:46:30.079 I wouldn't have to otherwise, and I'm like, you know, it's 597 00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:34.960 normal stuff. But I'm like our time, go to the bath room, 598 00:46:35.039 --> 00:46:40.519 do your homework, but I don't otherwise. But yeah, the hardest job 599 00:46:40.599 --> 00:46:45.679 ever actually is a single mother. I think that's tough. I do it 600 00:46:45.239 --> 00:46:52.760 with pride and I do it right. So very proud of that. Yeah, 601 00:46:52.880 --> 00:47:00.239 but yeah, uh, it makes these forty eight hours of that unch 602 00:47:00.840 --> 00:47:09.280 more beautiful. Well, it makes those literally heaven. I could ice cream 603 00:47:09.320 --> 00:47:14.280 without anybody being like oh, like stuff like that. It's so simple. 604 00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:16.559 But so, the next time down, I want you to make a list 605 00:47:16.559 --> 00:47:20.639 of all the things you can do for those forty hours. You'll automatically look. 606 00:47:20.679 --> 00:47:23.760 You're already smiling. So I know. I'm like this is I got 607 00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:29.280 because I have Sunday. I have all day Sunday and uh, because Monday 608 00:47:29.280 --> 00:47:31.199 I have to work. She comes back on Tuesday. But so Monday doesn't 609 00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:42.159 county. Okay, okay, uh, but yeah, so I don't know. 610 00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:47.480 I don't I know you're feeling. Do you think you're feeling like down, 611 00:47:47.559 --> 00:47:52.239 like depressed style, or is it just like things are weird this week 612 00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:59.639 because of the your parents and that whole situation. That question was just for 613 00:48:00.079 --> 00:48:05.840 Um, the people at home, yes, but for me this week it's 614 00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:08.480 just been everything has just been it's like if I had a period, it 615 00:48:08.519 --> 00:48:14.760 would be like I'm my period or P M mass, whatever makes you moody. 616 00:48:14.920 --> 00:48:21.079 Like everything pisses me off. I don't know. Okay, maybe it's 617 00:48:21.079 --> 00:48:24.559 a full moon this week too, I think, because the people I've talked 618 00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:30.000 to this week it wasn't there week either like something went wrong or something aggravating 619 00:48:30.039 --> 00:48:34.440 them or you know, you know work, everything that could go wrong is 620 00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:37.239 going wrong. But it's nothing that's not sexible, it's nothing life ending and 621 00:48:37.239 --> 00:48:42.679 it's all laughable. But it's just so really, I don't have any issues. 622 00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:45.480 I was just saying in general for your artists, like if they're in 623 00:48:45.519 --> 00:48:49.559 a Rut, which I've seen a lot of artists be like that, and 624 00:48:49.719 --> 00:48:53.480 people you know what's what's your first thing that you that you try to get 625 00:48:53.519 --> 00:48:57.719 them out of it, you know, and that's something that has devices taking 626 00:48:57.760 --> 00:49:02.039 a step back, because so people do that. Yeah, because it's hard 627 00:49:02.199 --> 00:49:06.519 for anybody. It's hard for me. I need to take my own advice 628 00:49:06.519 --> 00:49:10.239 and sometimes I don't like. Yeah, like, especially right now. I 629 00:49:10.280 --> 00:49:19.920 went from thinking that I had everything perfect to losing everything, and everything happened 630 00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:24.519 within a couple of years. So the divorce happened and then I, Um, 631 00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:29.599 uh, well, pass for a little bit. COVID UH lost. 632 00:49:30.639 --> 00:49:35.639 They cut our salary because of COVID. Then I messed up my knee. 633 00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:39.159 I couldn't walk for like a year until I got that fixed, and then 634 00:49:40.519 --> 00:49:45.599 I couldn't afford my apartment anymore because of Covid, so I had him move 635 00:49:45.719 --> 00:49:50.480 in with my parents. And so at that point I was like, I 636 00:49:50.519 --> 00:49:55.079 am a loser, you know, even to myself. So, Um, 637 00:49:55.119 --> 00:50:00.079 that took a while because I didn't really have it was covid, so is 638 00:50:00.119 --> 00:50:06.199 weird already, but it was paying it. It was the fact that it's 639 00:50:06.239 --> 00:50:15.320 so expensive to have to buy a house and also, especially for Hispanic families 640 00:50:15.840 --> 00:50:22.159 and in general, it's becoming more common to have a multi generational household. 641 00:50:22.639 --> 00:50:24.400 My grandma lives here, she used to, I mean before she died. 642 00:50:24.679 --> 00:50:29.480 My parents lived here, all my siblings lived here before they went to college. 643 00:50:30.039 --> 00:50:32.320 Um, so it was a great environment for my daughter to grow up 644 00:50:32.360 --> 00:50:36.719 in because she got to know the family that otherwise she might not have if 645 00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:39.119 we were living on her own. So there's that. And then it's like 646 00:50:39.719 --> 00:50:44.239 by living here and she gets to go to a really good school which, 647 00:50:44.360 --> 00:50:46.480 if I lived on my own, probably wouldn't be as good of a school 648 00:50:46.599 --> 00:50:52.880 just because of the price of the houses are in a different area. And 649 00:50:52.920 --> 00:50:57.599 then, Um, and then finally, like they loved taking care of her, 650 00:50:57.639 --> 00:51:00.760 they love doing stuff with her, and you know, so, I 651 00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:04.800 think. I mean, I love the situation I'm in now. I just 652 00:51:04.840 --> 00:51:10.079 got it positives here. Ye See, like it took probably two years to 653 00:51:10.119 --> 00:51:13.719 get out of the fact that I'm like, okay, I have nothing. 654 00:51:14.360 --> 00:51:16.159 I'm like I'm the worst I have. The one thing I have is that 655 00:51:16.239 --> 00:51:22.239 I'm gonna I'm a good what you were doing was resetting. Yeah, white 656 00:51:22.239 --> 00:51:25.920 many sleep clean. You don't have writing there anymore, but that writing was 657 00:51:25.960 --> 00:51:30.800 shitty anyway. So you're gonna write a good story this time. Exactly. 658 00:51:31.000 --> 00:51:35.960 That's why my book is going to be about. Gonna be about this guy 659 00:51:36.039 --> 00:51:39.960 that you used to know like back in the day, and uh, his 660 00:51:40.079 --> 00:51:47.000 name is wilber. He was a skateboarder and stuff like that, and uh, 661 00:51:47.400 --> 00:51:51.639 you love Wilbur. What was a little rough of a name. We 662 00:51:51.719 --> 00:51:59.119 might have just change his name or something, but the name every okay, 663 00:52:00.079 --> 00:52:04.480 Um, yeah, okay, okay, yeah, so, okay. So 664 00:52:04.599 --> 00:52:07.719 tell me about that about you. What do you think about you right now? 665 00:52:07.440 --> 00:52:12.800 Well, what was the question? What is your definite how has your 666 00:52:12.840 --> 00:52:21.599 definition of success evolved from when we all left college? What did you want 667 00:52:22.000 --> 00:52:24.840 to have? Money. So, when you left college, the goal was 668 00:52:24.920 --> 00:52:32.679 money, Girl and money. I don't want to say that allowed grills. 669 00:52:34.440 --> 00:52:42.559 Yeah, yeah, because we're talking about and reality. What was the question? 670 00:52:42.679 --> 00:52:45.519 Success then, when I was younger, now that I have experience in 671 00:52:45.519 --> 00:52:49.639 the world? Okay, so very simply, success when I was younger was 672 00:52:50.480 --> 00:52:52.800 H if I had a lot of money, I would be successful, right, 673 00:52:53.079 --> 00:52:57.719 which that's a version of success. But at this point in my life, 674 00:52:57.960 --> 00:53:02.320 or knowing what I know, is if you're happy, you're successful because 675 00:53:02.519 --> 00:53:08.440 ultimately you want money to buy ship that makes you happy or that you think 676 00:53:08.480 --> 00:53:14.719 will make you happy. Um, but all that's temporary and money, just 677 00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:19.400 like money is and happiness isn't, if you have it as a mindset. 678 00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:23.800 Yeah, so to see that the beautiful life. So what would make me 679 00:53:23.840 --> 00:53:29.880 happy now? To go into uh, to take that one step further. 680 00:53:30.440 --> 00:53:35.719 I mean, I guess I don't know, because I've never like, Um, 681 00:53:35.880 --> 00:53:38.519 well, I guess I've been truly happy. But, uh, I 682 00:53:38.559 --> 00:53:44.039 don't know, because I've been so all over the place recently. But but 683 00:53:44.159 --> 00:53:47.559 obviously having but by being happy with yourself, with what you do for a 684 00:53:47.639 --> 00:53:53.000 living, finding purpose in that, as well as having a purpose getting up 685 00:53:53.039 --> 00:54:00.280 every morning. So just taking care of yourself physically, mentally and also, 686 00:54:00.360 --> 00:54:06.360 I think it's big for me. It's gonna be big too, because I 687 00:54:06.400 --> 00:54:12.719 really don't think I care about myself that much, like meaning, trying not 688 00:54:12.760 --> 00:54:15.000 to put it badly, meaning, like, okay, I do things that 689 00:54:15.039 --> 00:54:19.880 are bad for my body, like okay, I smoke and you know, 690 00:54:20.039 --> 00:54:23.800 when we were in college we party, like things that weren't in the best 691 00:54:23.840 --> 00:54:30.679 interest of my temple called the body. Right, so that that's like a 692 00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:35.559 version of self hatred, so I think. And it's still do those things 693 00:54:35.679 --> 00:54:39.239 right and still smoke, still don't really wash my diet, you know, 694 00:54:39.320 --> 00:54:44.199 and I exercise good but I don't have the Diet or anything to else to 695 00:54:44.239 --> 00:54:46.679 balance it out as well as I could. So what is that? That 696 00:54:46.840 --> 00:54:50.400 is me not caring. I don't know why I don't care. I don't 697 00:54:50.400 --> 00:54:52.800 even want to go down that road. Doesn't really matter. But I think 698 00:54:52.840 --> 00:54:59.760 I get the most happiness if and when I help other people and that to 699 00:54:59.840 --> 00:55:02.480 be happy, you know what I'm saying, and that gives me more joy 700 00:55:02.519 --> 00:55:08.519 than making myself happy. So, Um, whether it be Um, you 701 00:55:08.559 --> 00:55:13.559 know, if I volunteered at a dog shelter or an animal shelter, and 702 00:55:13.679 --> 00:55:19.800 I like that because I love animals, or if I help somebody that was 703 00:55:19.880 --> 00:55:24.800 struggling with something that I have experienced in and it helps them, or just 704 00:55:24.840 --> 00:55:29.440 have a conversation to get someone out of their head and they laugh at a 705 00:55:29.480 --> 00:55:35.880 stupid joke I tell that makes me and measure will be more happy than making 706 00:55:35.920 --> 00:55:42.039 my spying myself something. Now you know, I don't know and you yeah, 707 00:55:42.079 --> 00:55:45.960 so I don't know. I gotta figure out how to incorporate that in 708 00:55:45.079 --> 00:55:49.400 my life because I know that's what makes me happy. But that was an 709 00:55:49.480 --> 00:55:52.800 short answer. Is before I thought it was money and material and now I 710 00:55:52.840 --> 00:55:59.280 know it's people and connections. But yeah, I mean, and that's I 711 00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:01.159 feel like a lot of people, I don't see. That's the other thing. 712 00:56:01.199 --> 00:56:06.559 I don't know if people have that for real or do they think they 713 00:56:06.599 --> 00:56:15.280 have that or overcompensating or lying to people or themselves? Because maybe it's me, 714 00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:21.239 but I find it really hard to think that people really do have every 715 00:56:21.239 --> 00:56:25.880 everything with no flaws, like their mental health is and everybody's got their flaws, 716 00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:30.559 right, I mean, and that's the other thing that makes it hard, 717 00:56:30.639 --> 00:56:37.119 because social media everybody's good things and fake good life. Yeah, the 718 00:56:37.239 --> 00:56:38.719 bad things too, if you do, if they mess up once, like 719 00:56:38.760 --> 00:56:44.519 a celebrity, they they're caught, whereas before they weren't. So it's hard 720 00:56:44.559 --> 00:56:47.119 to go out to the radar. Now you're more vulnerable your private life as 721 00:56:47.119 --> 00:56:51.119 a celebrity, and that's why we see all these scandals. Now it's not 722 00:56:51.199 --> 00:56:55.679 like, Oh, now they're corrupt, they've always been corrupt. Yeah, 723 00:56:55.880 --> 00:57:00.760 I don't know, but the good comes bad with every thing. You're balanced 724 00:57:00.760 --> 00:57:07.360 with everything. You know. Yeah, it's it's the world's very tempting, 725 00:57:07.559 --> 00:57:13.199 tempting place with with with the temptations of evil, you know, things that 726 00:57:13.280 --> 00:57:16.039 make you weak. So scact, we can take your soul for that second 727 00:57:16.440 --> 00:57:22.679 whatever. I don't know, but I haven't read the Scriptures, but I 728 00:57:22.679 --> 00:57:27.880 can tell you that, uh, nothing out there is really good for you. 729 00:57:27.960 --> 00:57:31.079 That makes you happy, is really good for you, exercise, and 730 00:57:31.239 --> 00:57:37.320 even then you're gonna make sure you have a good diet of gramatic genetically modified 731 00:57:37.360 --> 00:57:43.920 food and ship and sugar to sustain that. You know, how can you 732 00:57:43.960 --> 00:57:46.440 win in this ship life unless you're in like the one percent of the one 733 00:57:46.480 --> 00:57:51.840 percent. You're you're and they're Inde some evil ships. So right here, 734 00:57:52.559 --> 00:57:55.559 who knows? I just focus on me. I don't care. I don't 735 00:57:55.559 --> 00:57:59.559 care about the news, I don't care about nothing. Yeah, that's my 736 00:57:59.679 --> 00:58:01.840 problem, the news. Yeah, why do you care about things? Because 737 00:58:01.880 --> 00:58:07.599 it's like, because, dude, they're fucking facts. Tunes every four seconds. 738 00:58:07.239 --> 00:58:12.800 Here's one that really and I'm about to write, I'm about to unleash, 739 00:58:12.880 --> 00:58:15.159 and that's where I give up. I don't care. I don't know 740 00:58:15.159 --> 00:58:19.679 anybody. Yeah, I don't even like anybody in America. Okay, I 741 00:58:19.719 --> 00:58:22.599 mean, it's going to really take a lot for me to go overseas with 742 00:58:22.639 --> 00:58:30.079 my likeness. You know. You know what we legit need to be worrying 743 00:58:30.119 --> 00:58:36.719 about, and I'm not joking about this, is whatever the hell is happening 744 00:58:37.000 --> 00:58:43.079 with Um not ufos, whatever the whatever they're called. Now there's things in 745 00:58:43.119 --> 00:58:52.719 the air and there's like government, confirmed government, maybe whatever that there's ship 746 00:58:52.800 --> 00:58:59.400 in the in the United States that's kind of related to ufos that are mean 747 00:58:59.719 --> 00:59:04.119 send messages. It's so real. Yeah, they said that, but they're 748 00:59:04.159 --> 00:59:07.519 just sweeping it under the road. But I'm not surprised. Listen, I 749 00:59:07.880 --> 00:59:10.519 had an alien experience one time. What was that thing you posted? What 750 00:59:10.559 --> 00:59:19.960 was that? That was actually Um I learned later that was umsel posted. 751 00:59:20.119 --> 00:59:27.320 So it was space aft rocket. I don't know, but there's so many 752 00:59:27.480 --> 00:59:30.840 and like and makes sense. The trail. Yeah, they're breaking the trail, 753 00:59:31.119 --> 00:59:37.480 I think. I think Elon Must I think he he obviously knows and 754 00:59:37.519 --> 00:59:42.159 I got him in the act. Yeah, I mean emprised that that foot 755 00:59:42.239 --> 00:59:45.400 is just wiped from my phone, though. I should check on that. 756 00:59:45.960 --> 00:59:51.440 Mr Musk must be. Yeah, no, it's definitely Alice. I when 757 00:59:51.440 --> 00:59:53.079 I was little, I had I saw aliens at my house. It was 758 00:59:53.119 --> 00:59:57.000 the craziest thing in my life, literally, like when I woke up. 759 00:59:57.320 --> 00:59:59.440 Well, I'M NOT gonna type A full story. We'll save it for a 760 00:59:59.440 --> 01:00:04.320 different one, but alien should be a whole. Yeah, happened a couple 761 01:00:04.320 --> 01:00:07.639 of times because where I come from is crazy. But Um, all right, 762 01:00:07.679 --> 01:00:10.800 look up one time and we were on bed bunks right our house in 763 01:00:10.840 --> 01:00:15.920 New Hampshire, my sister, and then if we had any friends up, 764 01:00:15.960 --> 01:00:19.480 we'd all put a bunch of mattresses down in there. And so the floor 765 01:00:19.519 --> 01:00:22.199 of we all mattresses and then a bunk bed Nicole's. Yeah, it's the 766 01:00:22.199 --> 01:00:25.320 best. And then so I'm and I was young and I get out. 767 01:00:27.039 --> 01:00:30.559 I was on the top Bunk and I had to pee and I jumped down 768 01:00:30.639 --> 01:00:34.519 and and and there's all mattresses on the ground and you can't step anywhere. 769 01:00:34.800 --> 01:00:38.880 And I look down once I jumped down and I looked trying to find the 770 01:00:38.920 --> 01:00:44.960 door and all of a sudden there's about seven, six or seven short, 771 01:00:45.199 --> 01:00:50.400 chubby looked like Buddha, looking like blue men. Right, no, not 772 01:00:50.599 --> 01:00:53.960 threatening whatsoever. And I'm staying and like they're all over that. There's not 773 01:00:54.079 --> 01:00:57.679 space for them, right. So, but I'm so I just shake it 774 01:00:57.719 --> 01:01:00.400 off and I look again. I thought of my eye and they're still there 775 01:01:00.719 --> 01:01:06.079 and they're talking amongst each other and like and like, I went to touch 776 01:01:06.199 --> 01:01:12.320 one and right when I touched him he did not move. So I didn't 777 01:01:12.360 --> 01:01:15.199 touch him. So I just I said, I went to the bathroom yeah, 778 01:01:15.280 --> 01:01:22.039 yeah, still there. WHOA thing? I went up my ladder. 779 01:01:22.440 --> 01:01:27.239 Yeah, and then woke up. They weren't there. But how that was 780 01:01:27.280 --> 01:01:30.000 weird. So I've known. I've known about those aliens. Well, you 781 01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:37.000 could have just asked me. I was a denyer until I forget. I 782 01:01:37.039 --> 01:01:40.880 forget what happened, but I started watching the when that that one dude. 783 01:01:42.119 --> 01:01:45.639 Well, first of all I loved link one a D two. So when 784 01:01:45.679 --> 01:01:50.119 Tom Delong started going nuts, I had to like, I don't even know, 785 01:01:50.199 --> 01:01:55.840 but yeah, but yeah, back, Yo, Yo, Yo. 786 01:01:58.679 --> 01:02:02.880 My parents, that our town parents are out of town. Yeah, they 787 01:02:02.880 --> 01:02:09.199 have a ring camera that they just put in kids. I know. Well, 788 01:02:09.239 --> 01:02:14.039 I feel so bad because my dad, all the kids, my dad 789 01:02:14.079 --> 01:02:17.840 has this house right. There's two master bedrooms, there's four bedrooms, there's 790 01:02:17.920 --> 01:02:24.960 like where I live outside the everything, any bedrooms. And you're like where's 791 01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:31.480 why I live? Dog coups outside. No, it's a guest sweet thing, 792 01:02:31.960 --> 01:02:36.559 because I don't. It's so I don't have to interact with them and 793 01:02:36.559 --> 01:02:39.960 and I appreciate that. Um, but so underneath, so they built me 794 01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:44.400 a balcony, they built me, Um, like a fire pit area, 795 01:02:44.559 --> 01:02:49.199 and then around the side they have like the pool area. So there's a 796 01:02:49.239 --> 01:02:52.920 lot to do. But with that said, it's also scary because they only 797 01:02:52.960 --> 01:03:00.920 have one ring camera in the front, so I'm in the back with a 798 01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:07.000 lot of woods. No, it's like a super it's like a I don't 799 01:03:07.000 --> 01:03:09.079 want to say it's a rich neighborhood, but it's a pretty high priced neighborhood 800 01:03:09.119 --> 01:03:13.719 and we're in the back of a neighborhood. So it would be worthless. 801 01:03:14.360 --> 01:03:21.960 There's no woods. No, what's behind us is like uh, but like 802 01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:27.119 a half a mile behind us there's a starbucks and lily school, my daughter 803 01:03:27.199 --> 01:03:34.280 school. Yeah, so I figured if anyone's going to try to steal anything, 804 01:03:34.360 --> 01:03:38.920 first of all, everybody here has a camera. UH, so they'd 805 01:03:38.920 --> 01:03:43.599 be screwed. First of all, just everyone has a gun. I have 806 01:03:43.679 --> 01:03:46.000 a gun. Trying to tell him, just tell him you have aids and 807 01:03:46.079 --> 01:03:52.360 just bite his arm. That's what I keep saying. That was my I 808 01:03:52.400 --> 01:03:57.440 thought of that the worst weapon ever and I thought it was during not the 809 01:03:57.480 --> 01:04:01.480 best of my days. But are you around a syringe full of your blood 810 01:04:01.760 --> 01:04:04.920 and just and if somebody ever tries to rob you, just say I'll stick 811 01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:09.960 you, I got AIDS. motherfucker. You know, nobody wouldn't even take 812 01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:13.800 that chance, you know what I'm saying. I was thinking that and I 813 01:04:13.840 --> 01:04:17.480 was thinking that if somebody, Um, damn it, Moss, come on, 814 01:04:17.599 --> 01:04:24.360 let's pile under, if somebody was giving me shit about wearing a mask 815 01:04:24.559 --> 01:04:30.119 or whatever, I'd be like, I have a and I see to prove 816 01:04:30.159 --> 01:04:34.760 a point where you can't get aids from coughing on somebody. But if they 817 01:04:34.800 --> 01:04:39.280 all of a sudden leave me alone, then it's like, do you even 818 01:04:39.280 --> 01:04:43.079 know what you're talking about? Like you can't, you can't get aids from 819 01:04:43.440 --> 01:04:46.440 so leaving me alone, telling me not to wear a mask, me telling 820 01:04:46.519 --> 01:04:53.280 you it's because I have aged just doesn't make any sense, but that you're 821 01:04:53.280 --> 01:04:58.719 an idiot. So I don't know. I've had a couple of dreams, 822 01:04:58.880 --> 01:05:01.719 not daydreams, but like scenarios. I like, what would I do? 823 01:05:02.719 --> 01:05:05.440 That's a good one. Off The anti. I mean, wait till you 824 01:05:05.480 --> 01:05:09.639 get robbed and go for this bloody syringe. All right, don't worry about 825 01:05:09.639 --> 01:05:13.280 little. I have my gun, I have my pistol that I take with 826 01:05:13.320 --> 01:05:16.039 me when I go in and people, people, people survive shot, getting 827 01:05:16.039 --> 01:05:19.000 shot. All right, people are not not afraid to get shot. The 828 01:05:19.079 --> 01:05:20.800 AIDS, though. Let me tell you, they don't love with that. 829 01:05:23.800 --> 01:05:27.280 I mean I would. Somebody had a Rehab said that and I'm like, 830 01:05:27.320 --> 01:05:30.320 you are a genius, bro that's genius. He's like, yeah, I 831 01:05:30.400 --> 01:05:36.119 robbed people with bloody syringes. I go, are you serious? That's why 832 01:05:36.159 --> 01:05:40.920 nothing pases me. All right, so you know, I've seen the good 833 01:05:40.920 --> 01:05:46.039 and not seen the bad. I choose the good. No, bloody, 834 01:05:47.760 --> 01:05:50.480 that's a good one, I think. The other good one, Um, 835 01:05:53.199 --> 01:05:58.440 what was another good one? The one I think about is like kind of, 836 01:05:58.719 --> 01:06:03.440 kind of the same, like when you're trying to negotiate with a Um, 837 01:06:03.719 --> 01:06:11.559 uh, like a hijacker, kindergartener. Kindergarner, a hijacker or hostage 838 01:06:11.880 --> 01:06:15.400 situation or no, car jacker. I was like, okay, you can 839 01:06:15.480 --> 01:06:17.840 take my car. If you decide to take my child, you're gonna actually 840 01:06:17.840 --> 01:06:24.280 be into very serious. So just give me my kid out, but take 841 01:06:24.320 --> 01:06:28.079 the car, take the phone, whatever. Just give me that kid and 842 01:06:28.280 --> 01:06:31.199 I'll give you a ten minute head start, like whatever you want, I 843 01:06:31.239 --> 01:06:38.880 will call tomorrow. Um, you know, that's my worst fear. So 844 01:06:40.639 --> 01:06:45.679 this one might be actually a good episode to put on video, because they 845 01:06:45.760 --> 01:06:51.599 got a fear factor because I like playing people's fears. Let's have a positivity. 846 01:06:53.840 --> 01:06:56.760 Yeah, wait, yeah, that needs to be a thing these days. 847 01:06:58.079 --> 01:07:03.960 I want to see a video phone getting the hatches on the Internet are 848 01:07:04.039 --> 01:07:09.159 like, yeah, if I could set up the Internet, that would be 849 01:07:09.239 --> 01:07:14.800 it. Oh my God, there's so many. Oh, I remember one 850 01:07:14.840 --> 01:07:18.920 of these photo shoots. I went to the very first one, photo slash 851 01:07:19.000 --> 01:07:23.480 video. Um, I walk in, I had no idea what I was 852 01:07:23.519 --> 01:07:29.199 doing, where I was, and the Group of people sitting in the couch, 853 01:07:29.519 --> 01:07:34.360 we're watching decapitation videos, and I thought I was going to die. 854 01:07:35.280 --> 01:07:41.079 I really thought that was this is my death. Um, where do you 855 01:07:41.119 --> 01:07:45.880 get? Where to get someone in the mood? It was so grow text 856 01:07:45.960 --> 01:07:51.880 like, who could even stomach that kind of story? It's really I mean, 857 01:07:53.119 --> 01:07:56.679 I still, you know, obviously I still think about it, but 858 01:07:58.760 --> 01:08:04.760 what a what a warning, red flag? Yeah, well, you'll have 859 01:08:04.800 --> 01:08:08.840 any alert. I am it is what it is. I'm out of my 860 01:08:09.360 --> 01:08:13.639 nothing can happen to me at this point. Knock on wood. Uh, 861 01:08:13.719 --> 01:08:17.600 I've lost my job. I couldn't walk for Aier. Um, I almost 862 01:08:17.640 --> 01:08:21.600 lost my car, like, bring it on, there's nothing I can lose 863 01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:25.239 at this point. But I do feel like harm has been paying me back 864 01:08:25.920 --> 01:08:30.199 with like things like the blogs going well. I have a lot of friends 865 01:08:30.239 --> 01:08:34.079 that have those that are verified, so they're gonna help me a lot with 866 01:08:34.920 --> 01:08:42.640 Um. I'm cashing in all my um favorite that they owe me for writing 867 01:08:42.720 --> 01:08:47.000 articles, so to get some more, you know, followers. But before 868 01:08:47.079 --> 01:08:50.720 that we need to get used to doing this and we need to get used 869 01:08:50.720 --> 01:08:57.560 to doing live, uh, instagram. We need to do live. Thanks, 870 01:08:59.119 --> 01:09:01.680 and then I'll bring and my mom knows a bunch of people. She 871 01:09:01.760 --> 01:09:12.479 knows a former she played in a band with Tim McGraw's Bass Player, and 872 01:09:12.600 --> 01:09:16.920 she knows a songwriter who wrote for like a bunch of artists in the seventies. 873 01:09:17.640 --> 01:09:24.560 My my dad's best friend, which is like my uncle. She's a 874 01:09:24.560 --> 01:09:29.439 tour manager for a C D C and kiss. So like there's a lot 875 01:09:29.520 --> 01:09:38.239 of these cool little random connections that I have that I am not prepared to 876 01:09:38.279 --> 01:09:41.880 put my best foot. Yeah, of course, once you get the steam 877 01:09:41.960 --> 01:09:45.279 roller going, then those, I think those will all kind of a lot 878 01:09:45.319 --> 01:09:48.680 of them will naturally take shape, and then the other ones that you see, 879 01:09:48.880 --> 01:09:54.720 they'll be glad to help you, you know. Yeah, we'll get 880 01:09:54.760 --> 01:10:00.279 the momentum up before ever again. We can make this they situation, the 881 01:10:00.439 --> 01:10:04.880 bell and Ricky show, a long time. I'm ready to go. I'm 882 01:10:05.000 --> 01:10:12.800 ex Austin. You're tired. I was. Honestly, I was super tired 883 01:10:12.840 --> 01:10:16.159 when we started and then I'm like now we're gonna do this, this power 884 01:10:16.239 --> 01:10:19.359 through this. Plus, I was like getting in my own head and I'm 885 01:10:19.359 --> 01:10:23.880 like, it would be nice to talk to yourself. Yeah, thank you. 886 01:10:24.279 --> 01:10:30.720 You're welcome. Are you around tomorrow? Yes, tomorrow, Sunday, 887 01:10:30.840 --> 01:10:33.399 yeah, rather than me going to church, you know, six or seven 888 01:10:33.439 --> 01:10:39.840 times in the morning, please. So, yeah, I'm sleeping in and 889 01:10:39.880 --> 01:10:43.560 doing not ship. So yeah, all right, let's get a couple in 890 01:10:43.600 --> 01:10:47.800 the archive and let's get it in tomorrow. Rip It up to me. 891 01:10:48.479 --> 01:10:57.680 All right, sir, thanks for the conversation. Hey, yeah, you 892 01:10:58.720 --> 01:11:00.880 can you say the one time? Cut Out. I said Hey, thank 893 01:11:01.359 --> 01:11:05.439 you. Okay, and to the people at home, the folks at home, 894 01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:09.920 thank you too. This is the Bella and Ricky show coming at you 895 01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:13.840 all. So you'll do this. So you'll do that. The exit. 896 01:11:15.960 --> 01:11:17.439 The one more time. That was a good one. Go ahead. I 897 01:11:17.439 --> 01:11:21.399 don't know what I said. I'm honestly, I'm brain. I gotta go 898 01:11:21.439 --> 01:11:27.000 to the neurologists like bad things are happening. All right, people, I 899 01:11:27.039 --> 01:11:31.760 gotta go to the neurologious so signing off. Thank you all. Just bad 900 01:11:31.760 --> 01:11:35.439 ships happen and I hope to see you tomorrow. If I don't, give 901 01:11:35.439 --> 01:11:39.479 me a hell of you. I love y'All. I love Y'all too. 902 01:11:40.439 --> 01:11:48.119 Signing Solute please. Oh, okay, thanks for listening. If you like 903 01:11:48.199 --> 01:11:51.720 what you heard, check out cross the streams media dot com to hear more 904 01:11:51.760 --> 01:11:56.840 episodes of this podcasts and the other shows on the cross the streams network. 905 01:11:57.199 --> 01:12:01.279 Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review on apple podcasts or wherever you download 906 01:12:01.319 --> 01:12:05.680 your favorite shows. visit cross the streams media dot com for more information. 907 01:12:06.199 --> 01:12:08.079 See you next time.